It’s not about calling each other OUT – it’s about calling each other IN. Dallas Willard said, “Spirituality misunderstood or wrongly pursued is a major source of misery and rebellion against God.” How does your family operate?

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind; and your neighbor as yourself.” Luke 10:27   That’s it. It’s just that short and simple. Love God. Love People. It was Jesus’ creed and mission.

Do you remember the movie Princess Bride? Wesley’s response to Buttercup’s every request was, “As you wish.” He only wanted to please and honor her. There is no greater expression of love than a freely submitted will.

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”  John14:34,35

He loved us first – in service, sacrificially, and unconditionally.

Call your family IN this summer. Spend some wonderful, quality time together and learn together to love each other and spread it out into your community and world. Family Night by the Book is an excellent and fun resource to do just that. We have designed each lesson to focus on a biblical principal and godly character trait. Call God IN. Begin today.

Blessings,

Beth and Dr. Ron

This summer she is going to spend lots of time with him, create opportunities for him to get physically and emotionally stronger, and try to convince him that he is nobody’s scapegoat. This family does not have a spiritual foundation to draw on. Teaching our kids who they are in relation to the God who created them and modeling trust and faith in the One who stands strong with them every moment gives them internal strength. Being confident of their value and uniqueness creates a quiet but unmistakable hedge. Both will make them less likely to be targeted AND will help them see the value and uniqueness of their classmates as well.

Family Night by the Book is a system of biblical truths presented in fun and completely done-for-you lessons. Your child will know exactly who he or she is by understanding the mind and heart of God and how He sees each one of us. Take the time and the opportunity this summer to enjoy regular family nights. Pour into your kids and build their character so that they will be  “strengthened with power through His Spirit in their inner being”. (Eph. 3:16) and stand “strong in the Lord”. (Eph 6:10)

Blessings,

Beth and Dr Ron

Blessings,

Beth and Dr. Ron

A few weeks ago I was traveling in Slovakia and Poland, speaking on this beautiful Gospel.
Being a tea drinker in the morning (I gave up coffee years ago) my wonderful host offered me
an herbal tea I had never seen before. “These are the yellow flowers we saw in the fields this
morning.” He went on to explain that most Slovakians collect herbs and dry them, making their
own teas from knowledge passed down for generations. I looked up, and there across the top shelf
of the kitchen were jar after jar of various dried herbs and flowers.

I thought, you have got to be kidding me. This is so 15th century. Who in the world has time to
wander in the fields collecting plants, then carefully dry them to make their own herbal teas? It
was a very disruptive experience.

This is not a story about going back to nature, by the way. Not even about tea.

Years ago when Brent and I were writing The Sacred Romance, one of the thoughts we were most
deeply struck by was how our souls in this post-modern world have grown so thin, so “light,”
so insubstantive and therefore so vulnerable to every passing wind. We called it the lack of
“ontological density.”  The lack of a deep groundedness of being.

Then I began to notice, in the decade that followed, the surge of the piercing/tattooing movement.
It wasn’t just for fringe folk anymore; housewives and pastors were lining up, willing to subject
themselves to pain in order to make a statement about personal identity – and, I think, also try
and give themselves a sense of permanence (a tattoo is a very permanent thing.) At the same time
a number of friends began to move toward more liturgical church experiences. Others started
making a ritual of yoga classes. A few began to explore the “simplicity” movement. They are all
reaching for the same thing: Substance. Groundedness. A deeper, denser sense of self, of being.

During this period I noticed people were also becoming much more susceptible to anxiety
disorders, mental distresses, addictions multiplying like rabbits, and all sorts of vulnerability to
spiritual warfare. This is the other side of the same issue: a lack of substance, groundedness. It
doesn’t take much to move a feather.

Then I found myself writing a book about Jesus last fall and winter, and as I looked at his life
again one of the things I was most struck by was Jesus’ ability to navigate praise, then hatred,
false flattery, then adoring crowds, vicious slander and then people who simply don’t care – all
with a grace and sense of self that was simply stunning. Here is one grounded man. Which
brought our lack of groundedness back into stark clarity when compared to his deep, deep sense
of self, identity, and substance.

We don’t have time to go into why we became – in my belief – the most ontologically light people
in the history of the world. Part of it has to do with the transient culture (who lives in the same village their grandparents did anymore?), the fragmenting of church life, the daily barrage of media on our souls, and mostly (I think) the insane pace of our lives. I barely have time to brush my teeth, let alone wander the fields picking herbs, and I couldn’t do it because I don’t have the knowledge passed on to me by my forefathers.

So, I felt it would be good this month to ask you: “What are you doing for groundedness?”

It better be something. And something legit, or you’ll be swept away by the next strong wind, or, caught up in some silly movement looking for a sense of self.

Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the
truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:31-32). Most folks know the last half of the
verse (the truth will set you free) like they only know the second half of John 10:10. The truth
doesn’t set you free until youKnow itHold fast to itPut it into regular practice.

The Greek is menos in my logos; abide in, make your home in, be grounded in my embodied truth.
It is disciples, Jesus says, who are set free by the truth. A disciple is someone on their way to
groundedness.

Ours is a very experience-based age. (Another symptom of searching for a sense of self, and at
the same time an erosion of it). And experience is good; we are meant to experience God and his
kingdom. No experience means something deeply wrong with your Christian life. HOWEVER ,
we cannot base our lives on experience. That will cause you to feel like a roller coaster, like a
boat at sea with no sail and no rudder.

First comes truth. We need to be grounded in it, daily. We need to know it, let it saturate our
being, and then we need to put it into practice. Now yes, yes, yes – there are a host of other things
we need to do for groundedness. Cut the insane busyness. Do not live for tweets, texts, Facebook
or email. (I sometimes go a week or more without checking email – doesn’t that sound as 15th
century as collecting herbs? But who of us is more prisoner to their times?) Unplug the TV. Read
Christian writers… from another century.

Practice simple disciplines like solitude and silence – five minutes a day will rescue you.

But first and foremost, truth. We need souls deeply grounded in the truth. Not emotion. Not
experience. Not the next song or power encounter and surely not the next Christian fad. Truth.
Get back in the scriptures. Pray the Daily Prayer (found on our website, under “More” then
“Prayers”). If you’ve never spent time in Neil Anderson’s “Who I am in Christ” list of scriptures,
it will ground you. (Just Google it.)

Let me ask again, “What are you doing for groundedness?” Well…what did Jesus do for
groundedness? Do that.

In love,
John

To see the entire article on John Eldredge’s website, click this link:  http://www.ransomedheart.com/assets/PDF/Newsletters/2011%20May%20Newsletter.pdf
www.ransomedheart.com

1. Greetings are the oil that keeps relationships cordial. “Hi!”  “Good morning.” “How are you doing?” This is a good place to start. These small acts of graciousness ( a lovely word and habit to instill in your family – often lost in our society. Beth) can open up opportunities for more conversation and closeness.

2. Facts. sharing information promotes connectedness. think of a couple interesting things you could share with your child. Sometimes children are hesitant to share because parents become critical or use it as a chance to lecture. Try asking, “What was the highlight of your day?”

3. Opinions and Judgments “I like your hair today.” I think the Braves will make it to the playoffs.” When we share our opinions it involves risk. People – our kids – might disagree with us. Look for subjects to open conversations and ask your kids to share their opinions too. Avoid subjects that are likely to start an argument and look for ways to affirm your child’s opinion. “That’s a really interesting point of view.” “I can see how you came to that conclusion.” are phrases that show you are genuinely listening and interested in what your child is thinking and feeling

4. Emotions Facts and opinions often have emotions behind them. “I bet that hurt.”  “I can tell you’re really excited about that.” acknowledge your child’s feelings. “I’d be disappointed too.” ” It sounds like that makes you angry.” These statements show empathy and connect you to your child’s heart. Ask your child, “How do you feel about that?” of “Does that bother you?” Invite your kids to share their emotions.

5. Spiritual Closeness Praying, worshipping, and creating a sense of spiritual fellowship are the deepest levels of communication. Ask your kids, “How can I pray for you?” They may not have an answer. Pray for them and let them know you are doing so. Ask the to pray for you too. Strengthening your spiritual connections will create more opportunities to discuss heart issues.

Family Night by the Book helps your family develop habits of spiritual closeness. Each lesson is specifically designed to create conversation, sharing, and learning. We give you lots of great ideas to continue the conversation in the Through The Week section. Start a new thing this summer that will bring HEART to your family all year long.

Blessings,

Beth and Dr. Ron

Parents assume their kids know they are loved – after all, you do dozens of things, large and small, for them every day. Your child’s appreciation level may be high or it may be circling the drain. Either way, they need to HEAR directly from you how much you love and value them. When your kids both feel and experience your love it makes all the difference in their lives. Studies show they are happier, more confident, and better able to handle stress and make wiser decisions. They have better emotional responses and are less confused by strong emotion – their own and others’. Remember, your love helps them to relate to the love and acceptance their heavenly Father has for them.

In Parenting is Heart Work, Turansky and Miller give us 11 heart gifts you can impart to your children. Pick a few and make it the Summer of the Heart.

1.Talking.  Tell stories – yours and theirs. They love to hear their history.

2. Listening. Ask open-ended questions (the ones that require more than a yes or no answer) and take an interest in their days  and activities.  Ask their opinion and genuinely listen without judgment.

3. Touching. A hug or a gentle hand on a shoulder communicates love and caring. How does your kid like to be touched?

4. High-energy Activities.  Kids love excitement. Play games with them. Invite them to do something new and adventurous.

5. Interests. What does your child like? What captures his interest? Make it a bridge to greater closeness.

6. Special Treats. Money not required. Your kid love corn on the cob? Get some for dinner. Check out a library book you know she will enjoy. Give him that fancy little flashlight that came in the mail.

7. Partnering. Do a service project together. Let your child lead and you be the assistant. Perhaps, give his/her room a facelift.

8. Praise. Offer genuine praise for a job well done. Express appreciation – we like it, so do they. Admire something about your child and communicate it.  Pass on good things you hear about him/her.

9. Fun. Be silly. Tell jokes. Be playful. Have a squirt gun fight. Use your imagination – AND theirs.

10. New experiences. First day of school, first trip to the dentist/orthodontist, first train ride, or a girl’s first period. They all set the stage to commect emotionally.

11. Traumatic Events. A bad grade, a trip to the ER, or the death of a pet provide opportunities for closeness. It’s not about fixing the problem. It’s about connecting and restoring the heart.

Family Night by the Book is chock full of wonderful ways to connect with your kids and spend quality time as a family. You will all benefit from the biblically based lessons and it is FUN! See #9…  Make Summer 2011 the BEST EVER!

Blessings, Beth and Dr. Ron

3. Honesty will protect form the cycle of deceit and provide for a reputation of integrity. Remember Solomon’s words? Lying is a deadly snare because it breeds more lies, more deceit. Like painting yourself into a corner, the dishonest heart is soon trapped by its own duplicity. Richard Nixon’s presidency wasn’t destroyed by the Watergate break-in. It was lost by the lies he told to cover it up. Then he ordered ordered others to lie and created more deceit until he was trapped in his own web. god’s standard of honesty will save a person from a similar fate. He provides a reputation for integrity. “A good name is more desireable than riches; to be esteemed is better than silver of gold.” Prov. 22:1

Family Night by the Book will help you bring integrity to your family name. Your kids will understand the importance of honesty and of their reputation.

4. Honesty will protect from ruined relationships and provide for trusting relationship. There is nothing that will bring down a relationship faster than deceit and dishonesty. Relationships are founded on trust, and trust cannot survive in an atmosphere of deceit. Trust undergirds marriage vows and business arrangements alike with a reassuring, fortifying element.
When our behavior conforms to God’s standards we can experience all the benefits of His protection and provision. Creating guilt and shame and undermining relationships, the counterfiet can never deliver what is deceptively promises.

Here is a way to reinforce the value of honesty with your kids.

Play the “What if” game.  Ask your kids to imagine how the world might be different if everyone told the truth and was absolutely honest in their behavior. (We wouldn’t have to lock things up or chain them down, or install alarm systems, etc.) Guide them from there to a discussion of how honesty protects and provides for us, to reinforce the evidence of the truth of honesty. Every time your child hears an alarm or locks up a bike he will be reminded of the value of honesty. God is a true God, full of truth. When we are honest we honor him as a God of truth.

Family Night by the Book has a great activity designed to reinforce the learning and have FUN for each lesson. You can start today to change the atmosphere in your home and family.

Blessings,

Beth and Dr. Ron

1. Honesty protects from guilt and provides for a clear conscience. Guilt is among the most powerful of emotions, and it will cling to the dishonest heart like a python, choking the life out of its victim. “My guilt has overwhelmed me”, claimed the psalmist David, “like a burden too heavy to bear.” Guilt deprives the dishonest soul of maximum joy, satisfaction, and fulfillment. Those who heed God’s standard of honesty will be protected from the burden of guilt; it allows a clear conscience and an unbroken relationship with God.

2. Honesty protects from shame and provides for a sense of accomplishment. A habit of honesty can protect a person from the embarrassment and shame that results when their deception is discovered. During the 1988 Olympic games Florence Griffith Joyner became the world’s fastest woman. In the same games Ben Johnson broke a world record. Afterward, it was discovered he had taken performance enhancing drugs. He was stripped of his medal and went home in disgrace. Cheating robs us from winning fairly and enjoying our accomplishments. Solomon said, “A fortune made by a lying tongue is a fleeting vapor and a deadly snare,” Prov. 21:6 It entraps the person in a cycle of dishonesty and the reward is short-lived, evaporating like a fog. We cannot take pride in a dishonest performance and the hunger for praise and approval becomes warped and grows.

Stay tuned for more protections from a habit of honesty. Family Night by the Book can help to instill godly character traits in your kids from the very first day. What are you waiting for?

Blessings,

Beth and Dr. Ron

What about honesty? Our young people see deceit as an “easy” way to get ahead. “They view dishonesty as a means of impressing their peers and gaining the approval of their parents. They’re not even convinced it’s wrong, and they seldom see the negative consequences of deceit, nor the positive results of honesty. They need to understand the Test of Truth and the Evidence of Truth.”

“Why is honesty praised? Why is it a virtue? What makes it right? We must ask, How does it compare to the original? We must measure it against the nature and character of God, the Source of Truth. God gave us the commandments, You shall not steal. You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor. Do not deceive one another. God made it abundantly clear to His people that lying, cheating, and stealing were wrong. His commands reflect a positive principle, honesty – the quality of being truthful, transparent,  and trustworthy. Honesty is often defined by what it will not do. ‘Therefore, each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor.’ Eph. 4:25

‘…swindlers (cheaters) will not inherit the kingdom of God.’ 1 Cor 6:10

‘The Lord detests lying lips, but He delights in men and women who are truthful.’ Prov. 12:22

Honesty  is a virtue because it springs from the nature and character of God.”

“Honesty is right and dishonesty is wrong because God is true. It is part of who He is. Though honesty may go begging on earth, there is an eternal, universal standard of truth that will not waver or change; ‘God must be true, though every man be proved a liar.’ Rom. 3:4 God is true. There is nothing false in Him. That is what makes dishonesty wrong and honesty right – for all people, for all times, and for all places.”

Family Night by the Book helps you instill the character trait of honesty in your family. We have a lesson that will bring it home to your kids. It is the foundation for healthy relationships and intimacy with God. We are here to support you and coach you to it!

Blessings,

Beth and Dr. Ron

“We generally think of truth as an abstraction. It exists in our mind as a principle, or a quality. But truth is not merely an abstract idea. It is a Person, and that Person has a name. Jesus said of Himself, ‘I am the way, the truth, and the life.’ We cannot separate the principle of truth from the Person who embodies it: Jesus Christ. The person who had trusted Jesus Christ has not only become acquainted with truth; he or she has the Truth living inside.

Jesus prayed, ‘And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may be with you forever; that is the Spirit of Truth…’ John 14:16 “But when He, the Spirit of Truth, comes, He will guide you into all truth.’ John 16:13

We need to teach our young people that when they trust Christ, God’s Holy Spirit actually enters their life. Rom. 8:9

The greatest thing you can do for you children is to introduce them to the Person of truth and teach them how to live in the power of the Spirit of truth.”

Family Night by the Book will help the whole family to grow in the Truth, becoming “mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.” Eph. 4:13. If you are unsure how to do that – no worries! We do it all for you. Each lesson is completely done-for-you and easy to implement. We are here to coach you and your family to success. Begin today!

Blessings,

Beth and Dr. Ron

If our children are going to learn how to determine right from wrong, they must know what truths are absolute and why. They need to know what standards of behavior are right for all people, for all times, for all places. They need to know who determines truth and why.

When our youth do not accept an objective standard of truth they become (according to his research):

36% more likely to lie to you as a parent

48% more likely to cheat on an exam

2 times more likely to get drunk

2.25 tines more likely to steal

3 times more likely to use illegal drugs

6 times more likely to attempt suicide

Kids who fail to embrace truth as an objective standard that governs their lives are more likely to mistrust people, be disappointed and angry,and to lack life purpose. How our kids think about truth has a definite effect on their behavior – the choices they make and the attitudes they adopt.”

We will be talking more about this in future blogs. Family Night by the Book helps you carve out the time and gives you lessons and tools to talk to your kids about truth and the God who defines it. It’s a perfect time to find out what your kids are thinking and believing – and have some fun doing it! You can begin to affect attitudes and behavior in a single day. Sign up for our free 5 day e-course and see for yourself.

Blessings,

Beth and Dr. Ron