Yesterday was the 4^th of July and Americans celebrated our independence from England. Americans talk a lot about independence – we hold it in high regard. As parents you want to grow independent children. Exactly what does that mean? Webster defines independence as: 1 not contingent on something else for existence, operation  2 not influenced by others in opinion, conduct, etc.  3 not affiliated, sovereign in authority.

By definition, do we really want independent kids? Is it even possible to live without being dependent, in some way, on someone or something other than ourselves? Would we want to live that way?

How about definition 2? Certainly we want to exert influence on our kids’ opinions and conduct. It’s our job to do so; to guide, and teach our beliefs and values to our offspring. While we would all agree we don’t want negative influence exerted on our kids, wouldn’t we all agree that we are thrilled when some marvelous positive influence grabs our kids’ attention?

Let’s look at definition 3. Sovereignty may be great for nations, but not so wonderful for individuals. I cannot imagine my life without affiliations, connections, and influence by those I admire and respect.  I never want to go it alone.

When we add the prefix inter we shift the meaning to: between, among, together, mutually or reciprocally. Now we’re much closer to what we really want for our kids. I’m not minimizing the importance of critical thinking, the ability to act or spend time alone, or raising kids who feel personally strong and confident. We are meant to do life together. We are meant to encourage each other, to help out, to be sensitive to the needs of others, and to collaborate when called for. Life is about having a “one another” mentality.

The third component is dependence. The definition is: 1 dependent on or subject to

2 conditional  3 reliance, trust  4 state of being physically or psychologically dependent, addiction  Ah. Here’s the heart of the matter.  None of it makes any sense without dependence – reliance upon, trust in, being subject to, and fully dependent upon God. Just as we don’t want negative influences, we don’t want unhealthy addictions. But we do want good and healthy ones. For instance, I am lost without my water bottle and never leave home without it. I need lots of water. I need communion with my God in my heart, mind, and spirit just as my body craves water. I am utterly dependent on His presence and action in my life.

Family Night by the Book promotes healthy dependence  on God and satisfying interdependence on each other in families.  The lessons are designed to build strong, capable kids – precisely because they know how to live with and for others. We are here to coach you to success! Enroll today.

Blessings,

Beth and Dr. Ron