We do dozens of acts of service for our kids every day. Feeding, bathing, dressing, laundry, chauffeuring, tutoring – the list is long and varied. For some kids those acts speak love. If your child expresses appreciation for the day to day acts of service, he is letting you know that you are filling his emotional tank. If she offers to help you with your projects, it may be her primary love language.

Chapman tells us that “helping with a science project means more than a good grade. It means ‘My parent loves me’.” Observe your child and how he or she serves others. As with all the languages, you are gaining valuable information about what is important to your child. While you’re observing, spend some really great emotional bonding time doing something your child enjoys. You are making memories, having fun, filling his emotional tank (and yours too!), modeling good communication and relationship skills, and creating stories that start with, “Remember the time…”  Who knew roller skating or kite flying could do all that?

“For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.”   Galatians 5:13

While you’re having all that fun, be sure to express to your child how much he or she is loved and valued. I know for some of you, it’s hard to say what you are feeling. Keep practicing! In the meantime, use non-verbals like a wink, a hug, or coming alongside and helping with a difficult project or chore. Try writing your feelings – maybe a note in a lunch bag or on the pillow. Remember, your acts of service demonstrate love and engaging with your child shows that he is valued.

Family Night by the Book is a wonderful way to spend emotional bonding time with your kids. We give you lots of great suggestions for activities that are fun and build your family relationships. You can be enjoying time together by the end of the week! We are here to encourage and coach you all along the way.

Blessings,

Beth and Dr. Ron