It’s official. School is out and summer is under way.What are your plans for summer 2011? I hope they include some genuine, loving, hysterical, sweet,  rowdy and serious one-on-one time with each of your kids and with your family all together.

Parents assume their kids know they are loved – after all, you do dozens of things, large and small, for them every day. Your child’s appreciation level may be high or it may be circling the drain. Either way, they need to HEAR directly from you how much you love and value them. When your kids both feel and experience your love it makes all the difference in their lives. Studies show they are happier, more confident, and better able to handle stress and make wiser decisions. They have better emotional responses and are less confused by strong emotion – their own and others’. Remember, your love helps them to relate to the love and acceptance their heavenly Father has for them.

In Parenting is Heart Work, Turansky and Miller give us 11 heart gifts you can impart to your children. Pick a few and make it the Summer of the Heart.

1.Talking.  Tell stories – yours and theirs. They love to hear their history.

2. Listening. Ask open-ended questions (the ones that require more than a yes or no answer) and take an interest in their days  and activities.  Ask their opinion and genuinely listen without judgment.

3. Touching. A hug or a gentle hand on a shoulder communicates love and caring. How does your kid like to be touched?

4. High-energy Activities.  Kids love excitement. Play games with them. Invite them to do something new and adventurous.

5. Interests. What does your child like? What captures his interest? Make it a bridge to greater closeness.

6. Special Treats. Money not required. Your kid love corn on the cob? Get some for dinner. Check out a library book you know she will enjoy. Give him that fancy little flashlight that came in the mail.

7. Partnering. Do a service project together. Let your child lead and you be the assistant. Perhaps, give his/her room a facelift.

8. Praise. Offer genuine praise for a job well done. Express appreciation – we like it, so do they. Admire something about your child and communicate it.  Pass on good things you hear about him/her.

9. Fun. Be silly. Tell jokes. Be playful. Have a squirt gun fight. Use your imagination – AND theirs.

10. New experiences. First day of school, first trip to the dentist/orthodontist, first train ride, or a girl’s first period. They all set the stage to commect emotionally.

11. Traumatic Events. A bad grade, a trip to the ER, or the death of a pet provide opportunities for closeness. It’s not about fixing the problem. It’s about connecting and restoring the heart.

Family Night by the Book is chock full of wonderful ways to connect with your kids and spend quality time as a family. You will all benefit from the biblically based lessons and it is FUN! See #9…  Make Summer 2011 the BEST EVER!

Blessings, Beth and Dr. Ron